Lay Your Moon on My Shoulder
Kitty and Dawn on FA ”Captain Calhoun” WI5 Kono Wall, Iceland. Photo by Jay Smith
So I decided to pay a midnight visit to a place that I have called home for the past two years, only to find that everything has changed as perceived by my eyes. Rooms changed, people come and gone, and only new faces premere. decided to visit hoping to find remnants of loving faces and warm voices only to be confronted by a scattered mob that shuns the face of men who differ from who they are. Yes in the process I do make preconceived judgement to only explain the picture that has been taken in front of me only to he screeching sounds of a tireless wind that only served to fuel sorrow, anger, and guilt. I stood speechless and motionless only wondering how such a friendly breeze could become a typhoon that makes my voice tremble and my knees shake. I feel that I have failed to be a friend, a confidant, and a lover. I feel lost in a place I once called home. A places that I loved so much as I thought it was filled with love. But now to see that it only serves as a misfortunate lost for me. I give in and reject thee. I tire of feeling torn as if I could not impact what is in front of me. I no longer want part of thee. I feel only anger and strife for you. But I seem to blame the place now more then the people but it is the people that cause me to gain distain for the place. Logic tries to fill my head and gain understanding as thoughts shift and ramble through twist and turns. I feel alone here. No one can understand me. No one can help me. Funny how only one instance can turn my world upside down. But the truth is I don’t know truly what the future hold. Life has truly been my test thus far but the future is still unknown. Well idk what will happen for now. I wish the world wasn’t so cruel and judgmental including myself. I guess I can only admit to my mistakes and express how I feel in the end…Which has been done. Now I can do is be in content with my decisions. I don’t think I can ever can this lost place of love hidden with glimmers of hope and joy home again, but I can now be ok know that after tonight that the place that I have found is my new home. As a great guy once told me, “if it is meant to be, it is up to me” (M.E.). No matter where I am because of the change I make around me, I will always have a place to call home.